2010

im not looking forward to 2010. im dreading it. im scared.
first year ive started off without my boy, since 2007?? geez
he got his job today! im happy for him. hes been looking for a job, and he needs one for college. but it also scared me a bit. it seems like there would be more of a distance between us. but he needs it. im happy for him.
i got really depressed again today at work. i didnt think about all this new years stuff, it makes me feel bad. but idk if it was just conincidence or not, but somthing happened.
i was sitting at the desk, zoned out, when this guy came up to the desk. he was an older guy. maybe in his late 20's? and he had came in before and was soft-spoken and polite. when he came up to the desk, i was considering me driving+new years drunk drivers could = me getting out of my pain. he came up to the desk, asked about the hours, as polite as he had been before. i replied.
then he said, "will you take this?"
and handed me a piece of paper with some writing on it.
i said yes enthusiastically, but my enthusiasm disappeared when i looked down and saw what it was.
just a white piece of paper, lined on one side. there were hearts drawn all over it, and then bible verses. i got really f*****g confused. i looked on the back, but there wasnt any writing. i figured it was some kind of church ad, but no church name was listed anywhere on the paper.
jeff has a modified version of religion that he believes in, and one component of that is that he believes in angels.
and he just might be right.