over

i am so done...with everything...the past few days have been so sad and i dont know what to do with myself...jeff doesnt care for me much...he does alot for me, but what i really need is emotional support...why doesnt anybody care? why doesnt anyone listen? whenever i have a problem, no one takes me seriously...i just want to feel like someone cares...i dont want to "have my way all the time..." im not that dumb, i know about compromise and getting what i give and so on...ive been needy lately but i thought you were ok with that? i thought you liked that? i thought you wanted to take care of me? no one is perfect : / one year from yesterday. the possibilities are numerous and endless. im not getting into the school i want to. only about a month til im officially shot down. these applicants are amazing. astounding students, who really deserve it.i would have been so much better off had i never come here, had i been able to go back. take all those damn classes. have a world of opportunities before me. was i meant to meet you? you were meant to survive that wreck. was i meant to make it this far as it is?? i wanted the fucking candy, is it really that big of a deal? is it really that big of a deal to me? obviously it is, or i wouldnt be so hurt. does your parents taking you out to eat, then to a movie, and then my family going out for dinner at the same restaraunt, and no one bothering to think of me bother me? does it bother me?? it does. it really does. does going without eating for over a day bother me? it does. but apparently your mom thinks it is a "choice." why do you talk badly about me to them? dont you see, the negativity never really dissipates? big or small, it lingers? why did she touch me like that, shes not my mom. why does your jacket and shoes cost more than my engagement ring? why dont you wear the one i got you? why do your parents give you two cars, constantly give you food and pay for you, when mine get angry at me when my car breaks? not save me dinner? frequently go to restaraunts without me? have me do all the dirty work? steal from me? call me a disappointment, say that ill never get anywhere. why did i ever think your mom cared? no one cares...i am privleged. im not retarded or handicapped, i dont live in a third world country, im not starving, im not homeless. but are the basics ever good enough? im not loved. im not appreciated. i dont contribute to society, ill never be elite. my dad is out there somewhere, but i didnt matter to him. just a piece of ass. why did you give them my gift? i know you misunderstood, but that was my gift...my gift. they get that nice candy alot...they just got it a couple weeks ago. and you gave it to them, and not me? why not me? why not me? it matters alot to me! if it didnt, i woulndt make such a huge deal about it, i promise you! why do you say you dont like calling me? why dont promises matter anymore? i can run, and run, and run, and the pain is always there. numbed or real, its always there, i already know that. candice got married. augustine had a baby. jessica basically posted her engagement pics on facebook. brittaney lives with her boyfriend. am i so jealous of these teen moms because they have solace in the fact that theyre always bound? that theres a connection between them another person could never take away? are you ever too young? i guess it depends on the person. i dont think were too young. you think im immature, and im so sorry. i am, very sorry. i want to be everything for you.